Have you ever heard a phrase and immediately didn’t like it? That’s how I felt about the words “social distancing.” Within a week, I was sick and tired of hearing about social distancing, even though that was a phrase that I hadn’t heard before. We need connection now more than ever! We can practice physical distancing but not social distancing! Just because we cannot be physically close to someone, doesn’t mean we have to isolate ourselves by social distancing. Finding your community is the answer! Even when this pandemic comes to an end, make sure to find your community in person too!
When I went through a divorce, I felt isolated and wanted a community of people. When I wanted to pursue more in my life, I wanted to find people who were doing the same. I wanted to start a business but knew nothing about it, and I felt clueless and alone. You won’t be shocked to learn that once again, I wanted a community of people who were going through what I was going through. Many of you will feel this way right now, during the Coronavirus pandemic.
You are stuck alone in your house, and if you’re lucky, you’re amongst family. The annoying thing is, you don’t get a break from this isolation. You can’t just leave when you want too, the same way that you used to be able to. Now that you feel alone, or since you’ve been told you can’t be around others, you probably want community more than ever, even if you’re an introvert like me!
When significant life changes occur, you will likely want to be around people who are going through (or have gone through) what you are.
Why do you want a community of people around you?
Having a Badass community of women (or whoever your peeps are) around you will help you to level up. When you surround yourself with a good group of people, they can help you to push yourself harder than you would have on your own. It’s not about competition; it’s that feeling that you’re not alone. When you want to give up, your friends don’t… and when they want to give up, you don’t.
It can be a matter of accountability. It’s easy to give up when you can talk yourself out of it, but when you have a group of people around you who will continue, it can be hard to give up!
Another reason why having a Badass community is vital is because many of us want to belong. It’s an innate feeling many of us have had since childhood. We don’t always like to stick out and feel like the odd one out. Remember, in childhood, when you were the last to be picked on a team. It sucked. As grown adults, we still don’t like to feel that way! While I am a proponent of being yourself, I think there’s something to be said about belonging somewhere! You don’t need to belong everywhere, but you do want to belong somewhere!
The third thing a community can do is it can help you find solutions to your problems. It’s easy to get down on yourself and give up when you don’t know an answer. Why quit when you can talk it out with a group of people who have been through what you are going through or can encourage you to continue on? According to Brooke Baum, “Talking about common struggles together is also a great way to brainstorm solutions.” Not only will you create solutions, but you will create lifelong bonds.
Lastly, having a community of people allows you to get out of your head and give back to others.
“Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have.” —Jim Rohn”
Have you ever helped someone with a problem, then all of a sudden your issue didn’t seem so bad after all? Maybe it just took your focus off of yourself for a minute, and it helped. A community is full of giving and taking. Not only can you give to others but you can take their advice.
What type of people should you surround yourself with?
Surround yourself with like-minded people. Remember, just because you are like-minded doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be diversity in a group.
Being around like-minded people can help you to feel accepted! According to the article, Why You Need to Find a Like-Minded Community, “it’s so important to find a community of like-minded people who are doing the same things you are because they’re going to make you feel normal. They’re going to encourage you. They’re going to inspire you.” Who doesn’t want to be inspired and to think about life in new ways? You may learn things about yourself that you didn’t know!
Find a group of knowledgeable people. Don’t settle in a group so you won’t risk feeling stupid. Surround yourself with people who are a few steps ahead of you in whatever you’re trying to learn! This will help you to learn and grow. According to Business Insider “When it comes to relationships, we are greatly influenced — whether we like it or not — by those closest to us. It affects our way of thinking, our self-esteem, and our decisions. Of course, everyone is their own person, but research has shown that we’re more affected by our environment than we think.”
Go into a group with a learning mindset. I used to hate feeling like an idiot, being at the bottom, and not knowing anything. You may call yourself a loser, but that’s not what it’s about, and it’s simply not true.
A Badass is okay with being at the bottom level and working their way up. There’s nothing wrong with learning as you go. Then someone else will come into your group that is new and just learning, and you teach them. Instead of the circle of life, it’s like the circle of communities!
How do you find your Badass community?
There are several ways to find your community. Right now, there is so much opportunity at your fingertips. This website, The Coronavirus Network, for instance, connects people and their stories and experiences with Coronavirus. Sometimes just reading about people’s stories helps you to feel connected. Find communities (both local and online) that resonate with you. Of course there are Facebook groups, but in your particular community, you might be surprised to find other like-minded people.
Go to meetup.com and type in your interests and the area you live in. This could be a game-changer for you! If you want to learn about hiking, photography, entrepreneurship…it’s all there for you. If you don’t see what you’re looking for, create it. I bet if you’re looking to find a particular community, there is someone else that is doing the same thing! And in the current age of social distancing, many meetups have moved into the virtual “Zoom” world, at least for now. When society returns to normal, your connections and community may be greatly enhanced.
If you don’t find your “perfect” community – Create it!
People might feel more comfortable saying how they feel online than they would in real life. If you can’t find a community that fits what you’re looking for, do what I did and create one!
It may take a little bit of time to have a fully thriving community, but as an introvert, it’s so rewarding to be around people just like me. It doesn’t drain me as much because I feel like those are my people, and we can relate to each other.
In a world after social distancing, events including meetups, library events, or Toastmasters will include people that know about similar events. So if that particular gathering doesn’t work for you, ask someone in the group, and they could give you a suggestion on how to find similar communities.
Find your Badass community today! You will be so much more fulfilled and feel like you are struggling less. We need community and connection now more than ever!
At the very least, reach out to those you love, or a friend you haven’t talked to in a while, and say hello. You never know how one new contact can change your life.
Being a Badass Woman is not about being tough, intimidating, or a hardass. It’s about confidence and mindset. Any woman can become Badass. Marie invites you to explore the Ordinary to Badass blog and podcast and join the growing Badass community.